My wife and I recently drove back up I-95 North for a several day expedition with our two oldest boys to the Big Apple. Here are a few things that the boys learned on our trip:

1.) Be careful when you go over to see the Naked Cowboy in Times Square because you just might discover that it’s the Naked Cowgirl wearing nothing but gold body paint.


2.) Dad’s office seems like a pretty boring place to work. I think that’s why he usually just stays home.


3.) If you keep looking people in the eye in New York City, the crazy ones will start yelling “Happy Birthday, Kid!” at you.

4.) If your Yankee game gets rained out, someone giving you free tokens at Dave & Busters makes it a little bit better.


5.) The view on the trip back on the Staten Island Ferry is very similar to the view on the way there.


6.) Despite Dad’s raving about amazing architecture upstairs, the Gelato stand downstairs was the best part of Grand Central Station.

7.) Men use some very colorful language when they get into a fight in the Greenwich Village McDonald’s when you stop in to use the bathroom.

8.) Don’t throw your trash away in the Washington Square Park garbage can that someone just puked in.

washington sq

9.) Dad really likes Yankee Stadium, but not as much as the crazy guy outside with blue hair wearing 2003 glasses and yelling “Yankees! Yankees! Yankees!”

stadium wideoutside stadiumjeter

10.) Even though Mom and Dad say your fluorescent shorts are way too bright, people in NYC keep telling you they like them.


11.) What happened at the World Trade Center on September 11th was really terrible. I can’t believe my parents were in Manhattan that day.


12.) The Empire State Building is high. If you pretend to throw your Yankee hat off the side, Dad gets mad.

top empirenorth view

13.) If you see this shirtless body builder guy getting out of his Porsche at the rest stop, you better take his picture quick.

body builder

14.) Men in Black just might be right that all the aliens are hiding in Manhattan.


15.) Letting Mom and Dad hold your hand on the sidewalk in New York City might be an OK idea after all.


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